Frozen tears
by twilightquill
Summary: "Sometimes even to live is an act of courage" - Seneta. Gray loses hope...


_**Author's note:** The events that transpire during this fan fiction take place within (and possibly beyond) chapter 416 of the manga. I have no idea how this piece will be perceived so the production of future chapters will be entirely up to you, the audience and whether you like this sort of story. I do recognise the story is a little on the short side so massive edits may be inbound! I have a few ideas for following chapters and the genre is by no means static but I can guarantee angst._

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Snow fell from the dark sky and descended upon the ruined landscape. Buildings laid slanted and peaked out of the untouched, white desert. Windows shattered, walls collapsed and silence; silence was all that remained. The colour had been sapped from the town leaving all but a mixture of lifeless greys and browns under a blanket of white. All that was once was was no more.

The sounds of children playing in the street and church bells ringing echoed vividly across his mind. Gray sighed and exhaled onto his closed fists as he sat on the rough stone steps. He couldn't remember how long he had laid slouched there for. For once he was beginning to feel cold. Not physically, for an ice-make wizard could never be "cold". He was cold inside, inside where no fire could possibly reach.

Before him stood erect a make-shift wooden cross amidst the rubble. Etched into the rough wood were two names. Mika & Silver it read, side by side to one another. Till death do us part they say. Placed underneath was probably the only thing "alive" for miles, a bouquet of flowers, petals fluttering in the gentle snowy winds. Soon they would too would succumb to Gray's misfortune, wilt and die.

Gray's eyes remained fixed, lifeless, to the names. A knife rested in his hand.

He thought he had lost all there was too lose in this world. He lost his parents, lost his whole village to Deliora. He lost Ur, his beloved guardian for his own stupid mistake. He lost Ultear, a sister almost, sacrificing her life to protect Crocus and in turn the whole of Fiore.

There is only so much one can lose.

Then he lost his father once more. How perverse was that? After all people are only meant to die once. Experimented on, and controlled by the will of Zeref's demons, Gray was forced to fight him to prevent the destruction of Fiore. But even faced with the prospect of the continent falling under the rule of demons he could not bring himself to kill the man who brought him into this world. Struck by fear he could only watch, beaten, helpless as the man he fought and loved whispered away in the wind. His end brought about by the death of the demon puppeteer. Not by him. For Gray was weak.

Now Gray lost hope.

Another tear streaked down his face, from his red-pained eyes following the same course as the many that came before.

Gray's eyes turned to the blade resting in his hand.

Crafted from his new found ice demon-slaying magic, the cerise knife was certainly a sight to behold. From the bolster to the tip, even Ur would be proud of his craftsmanship despite not being technically ice-make magic.

Gray laughed and then grimaced in pain.

The point left a little to be desired off, tainted, as sanguine fluid dripped and painted the snow below in specks of bright red.

Gray's dizzied eyes drifted away from the blade, past his bloodied wrist and down to the demon slayer tattoo on his right arm.

After all the misery he faced in the past week he had gained something. A token left by his late father. A mark of his father's power that was passed on to him but also a stark reminder of how much he had just lost. Gray now had the ability to fight the demons he once could choose to fight and destroy all demons that hounded this world. Make it a better place and so no one would have to lose a loved one ever again, save people from evil, and in doing so maybe even become a hero.

But he was also tired. So tired. Tired of fighting, tired of smiling, tired of loving, tired of laughing, tired of losing and tired of crying.

Tired of living.

"Gray-sama!", a small cry came from the snowstorm.

Shit. He was now even hearing voices. But Gray could care less.

Using the little energy he had left he rose, staggering a bit, he dropped his blade in the snow below him. Gray grasped his wrist as he walked hazily across to the grave, battling the increased winds, leaving in his wake a trail of red footprints. His boots sank deep with every step.

He didn't need to put any more effort after this. Wanting only to be by his family's side when the world faded to black, he pushed himself, willing his body to move. The ice wizard's vision was getting foggier though he didn't know if this was because of the impending blizzard or the amount of blood he was losing.

The grave slowly vanished from his vision. Gray's shivering body which was screaming in pain, came to an abrupt halt.

Irony really, leaving by demon slaying magic, the magic that was meant to bring himself hope.

Panting he moved his lips and muttered words left his mouth but the winds drowned them out.

A smile broke across his swollen face.

Gray collapsed.

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 _Any comments and/or criticisms would be very much appreciated._


End file.
